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Mad Mom Makeover series
Once per week during the months of March and April, Rear Release Regroup and MTO (Mom Time Out) is featuring a special guest post dealing with “mom anger” and how to cope with those “blow it” moments!
These dear moms offer words of encouragement, support, and wonderful tips for when that old temper flares! This will be a valuable resource, so be sure to stay tuned each week – and if you’re not on our email list, you may sign up here to make sure you don’t miss a single post!
Today, my sweet friend Marva, young mama of one boy and one girl – who just happens to live in the Virgin Islands (I know – SO jealous) shares with us. Marva blogs at sunSPARKLEshine and her bright, pretty graphics are always cheery and inspiring, as well as her down-to-earth writing. Marva is a go-getter and she issues a challenge to us that I think it’s high time we consider.
5 Ways to deal with anger and get back in the game
There was a lot of stomping from room to room, with what started as a murmur growing increasingly louder. Doors were getting closed a little harder than they should have been – okay, they were slammed! It was no wonder things didn’t start flying across the room because this was beginning to look and feel more like the antics of a two-year old.
The only problem was that it was me — the mommy — who was having the tantrum.
I had completely lost it.
“You don’t have a maid!” I shouted.
“How many times do I have to tell you to put away your stuff?”
It wasn’t a pretty site.
The resentment had been building for a while. I desperately needed a mom get-away but I didn’t follow the cues. Instead, all of the built up anger came out in one big, thick, dark cloud.
Maybe you can relate to my frustration. But be careful not to agree with me too quickly because in light of the Scriptures, my outburst was not warranted. I had allowed my anger to control me, and as a result, I acted unrighteously.
Thankfully, there is a better way to manage anger!
What stands out about this verse is that it distinguishes the anger from the sin. It suggests that the anger itself is not the problem but the way we respond to it is.
There's anger and there's sin. I don't have to choose both. @spreadtheshine Click To Tweet
I paused for a moment and thought. What if my kids were the ones acting out of control? What would I tell them?
My kids tend to get in the most trouble when they argue with each other. To help bring things under control I would pull them each aside and ask a simple question. ‘Whose team are you on?’
I would make a point about being on God’s team compared to being on Satan’s team — a simple analogy that they can relate to. I would encourage them to choose which team they wanted to be on and let it show by their actions.
I also have a choice. I can choose to be on God’s team and control my anger. Or I can choose to be on Satan’s team and let my anger control me.
5 Choices That Will Help You Control Your Anger
Using the same team analogy, I’m sharing 5 tips that will help you (and me) choose a godly response to anger:
1.) Choose your gear
A good player doesn’t just show up to the game unprepared. She dresses in the appropriate protective gear that’s suitable for the sport. In the same way, I need to start my day with my protective gear: the word of God.
2.) Choose your team
I have to remember that my real enemy is the devil. He’s actually doing everything in his power to make sure I lose. That’s definitely not the team I want to be on.
3.) Choose your game plan
When faced with a frustrating situation, I get to choose my plan of attack. Will I give in to the frustration and shout and argue with my third-grader about her dolls littered on the floor? Or will I gently remind her of the consequences for not returning her dolls to the toy bin? I can choose the high road and set a godly example for my children.
Choose the high road over anger. A godly example above all else. @spreadtheshine Click To Tweet
4.) Choose to be a good sport
What about those times when the game doesn’t go as I expect? Will I have such a bad attitude that I have to be pulled out of the game? Will I curse the other players and blame them for not doing their part?
When my kids are rude or disobedient, how will I respond? Will I lash out or will I be full of grace as I point them back to God?
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
5.) Choose your cheerleaders
There’s nothing like a good dose of encouragement on those days when I’ve completely blown it. We need all the support we can get and we can find it in real life friends who walk alongside us or even in online communities such as Ruthie’s Mom Time Out (MTO) group.
It helps to know that there are other moms in MTO who are going through similar things – they’ve wrangled in the game and came out a winner, at least today. Another day I might be the one offering encouragement to the mom who fell and needs to get back in the game. Together we’re a team and we help each other stay faithful.
So the next time you’re tempted to blow your top, and threaten to throw in the towel, let me encourage you. Start by gearing up with the Word of God. Choose to be on God’s team and get in the game with a plan of action. Decide to be a good sport and surround yourself with others who can relate and support you. That way you stay in the game and come out a winner!
What about you?
What strategies do you have that help you stay in the game?
How do you set yourself up to win?
Marva is a Christian, wife and mother to two school-aged kiddos. She’s lucky to live in one of the sunniest parts of the world, where most days feel like heaven on earth. For the other days, she finds comfort in a nice tall latte.
You can find her on sunSPARKLEshine.com where she writes about celebrating everyday brilliance and living a life that sparkles. You can also visit her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and Instagram. Get the latest sparkle by signing up for her newsletter Sparkle Highlights here.
Come join us at MTO!
MTO is a closed Facebook group for moms in the trenches, tired of reacting to daily conflicts or annoyances in family dynamics with anger or frustration.
At MTO you will find a place to share your story and interact with others who have been there too.
You will find support, encouragement, Scripture Pillars, Goals, and a plan of action for attacking those feelings of overwhelm and frustration.
Click the picture or any of the orange links to>>> join MTO today!
Come on, mom – we’re waiting for you!