Gun shot eggs

Ruthie Gray Uncategorized Leave a Comment

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     Remember that new microwave?  Yeah, it has way more power than the old one.  This morning I blew up an egg with my fancy dancy microwave egg poacher.  When I say “blew up”, I do not exaggerate.  We’re talking gun shot status – hubby’s standing in the living room checking his email via iphone and jumps in the air, ready to duck as soon as his feet hit the floor.

     Upon opening said microwave, I conclude that the sight is worse than the sound.  My son (super microwave cleaner) is gonna have a job on his hands today!!!  Bits of white and yellow dot the entire oven – a few larger streaks of white intertwined – including the door.  It’s gonna be a GOOD day!!!
     Speaking of super efficient functioning appliances, here is the rest of the story concerning the purchase of the new microwave:
     The microwave blew up 3 weeks before our first self-produced home school graduation.  We were expecting company for the weekend, and the house had not been cleaned in 2 months.  During that time I’d just been trying to keep my head above water, get the grad invites out (all the little details that come with pulling off your own, completely new-to-you, rules unwritten graduation), while also attending wedding showers, and stuffing wedding gifts/garb in every corner of my house.

     Let me just insert here that hubs and I are not on the same page these days. He is Mr. Dynamo, “Let’s get 99 things done in one day before I leave on the next plane outa here”, while I methodically check things off my list and protect my time by not beginning any new projects.  My answer to everything these days is “no”.  Surprise birthday party for the Sunday School teacher?  No.  Secret sister swap at Mrs. Smith’s house?  Not attending.  I have a stress threshhold and I know how to use it. What happened next is the prime example of this fact.

     We went to purchase the new microwave. Unbeknownst to me, he’s got stainless steel in mind (all of my kitchen appliances are white). We walk in, look around, and he announces his plan:  “We’re going with stainless steel this time.” “Uh…we are?” “Yes, nobody does white anymore, that’s a very dated look. It’s been 13 years since we built that kitchen, all of the appliances are falling apart – it’s time to update. Let’s gradually move everything over to stainless steel.”   I’m processing this new bit if info, realizing he’s probably right, but cautious about jumping into something that’ll add stress to my already full plate (AKA “wig” me out).

     “Do you like that oven over there?” He points to a stainless steel double oven with ceramic top. Of course I said no. Are you crazy??? I looked at it and fell in love that very second. Two ovens! Three, if you count the new microwave convection! Oh, the bliss of Thanksgiving dinner without running dishes next door to use my mom’s oven or waiting for things to get done so I can quickly shove in more casseroles!

     “In fact”, he continues, “Do you just want to go ahead and update all the appliances?”  Sheesh.
We bought all new appliances that day. Jim was to be out of town the next week, so he arranged to have them delivered the following week. Of graduation. YIKES!!!!!  The day after we made the purchase, he walked into the kitchen and said, “I think I’ll raise those cabinets above the stove so we can install the microwave right there.” Lovely. Let’s take on one more project. I kissed him goodbye and went off to run around town like a crazy woman finishing errands. He did raise the cabinets with relatively little trouble (he always comes out smelling like a rose).

     Delivery day finally arrived. One stove, one microwave, one dishwasher, one trash compactor, and one very large screw-the-handle-off-to-fit-through-the-door refrigerator. Don’t forget – all previous appliances had to be relocated first.  To the front porch. It took Jim and his brother the entire day and late into the evening to install everything. That under-the-cabinet microwave project was the worst. It only took 7 times raising and lowering the giant monster to get all the screws lined up and the chord in the right place.

     When one owns a range with two ovens, one is at a slight disadvantage as to where to put pots and pans stored in the bottom drawer of the previously owned stove. This meant major overhaul – time to clean out cabinets. I literally had every surface covered with clutter of some sort – birthday candles, thank you cards, dog clippers – all the stuff you’d normally store in your kitchen cabinets…  This total project went on for two more days – my house received a surprise spring clean fling!!! I threw out tons of stuff, all the while finishing graduation details. 

     Did I mention Jim also replaced all the cabinet handles and knobs with new hardware?  My kitchen looks very modern and updated, and it is beautiful.  My husband is a whirling dervish of activity. He’s like a tornado sucking up everything (and everyone) in his path. I’m left standing there wondering what I was just doing and how to restore order.  Ah, the wedded bliss of polar opposites.

   I gotta give him creds though, he gets a lot done in a short amount of time and the best part is – he does it all for us. I know that he loves the kids and I more than anything in this world – we are where his heart lies.  I am truly thankful for this man who makes my life chaotic, full, and fun!!! Life would be so dull without him!

     Oh and don’t worry – the West Virginia hillbillies got the appliances off the porch before company arrived.

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