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I’m delighted to introduce my special guest today on the blog–my real-life blogger friend, Sarah, from SaraFrazer.com!
Sarah is a young mom of four with a passion for studying God’s Word and applying it to everyday life. She’s also passionate about adoption, and is currently in the process of adopting again!
Today, Sarah shares an experience with us that taught her how tough marriage can be. This post spoke to my own heart, and I know you will feel the same. Please welcome Sarah and be sure to leave a comment for her before you leave!
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Almost twenty months ago my husband and I brought home our youngest daughter through adoption. Before we flew around the world to China, we had to meet with a social worker (several times) so she could evaluate our home, our marriage, and our family.
When she asked us about our marriage, my husband was quick to respond, We are in the best place we’ve ever been in our marriage. And we were. We had been married almost ten years, and although a couple of those years were hard, we were stronger than ever. We felt so connected. Through our adoption process experienced a lot of hard situations.
During our waiting, the hard was only the beginning.
Hardest Year of our Marriage
The moment we brought her home, the hardest year of our marriage began. We had so many arguments. So many moments of walking away, feeling like we could never agree. Many of the nights were spent separated and not connected. We were tired of the stress. And, we were tired of our situation. Indeed, we were tired of fighting. We were physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.
Strong was always a word I associated with a “good” marriage.
A good marriage is strong. A good marriage is something to keep fighting to keep. And yes, I believe good marriages are strong. But something I’ve learned is that marriage can also be fragile.
With a lot of stress, marriage can become delicate and easily broken. Looking back, our marriage could have ended in brokenness, but the goodness of God led us to the right places to find healing.
We weren’t at the end before we sought guidance.
And, we weren’t looking for help as the last resort. Truly, we sought help when we knew things were heading down the path of being broken.
We saw the wrecking ball coming, and we wanted to dive off of the road. And, we realized God was a part of our lives but had stopped being a part of our everyday lives. And so God had stopped being a part of our marriage. We went to church and even served.
But we were too tired to read scripture or pray.
When we changed our daily routines, beginning with just reading God’s Word, we saw a small glimmer of hope in our connection to each other.
As we both began to read God’s Word daily and seek to find time to pray, we saw a change. Not right away, and it wasn’t like everything was fixed overnight. It was (is) a slow change.
If you are in a season of hard with your marriage, don’t wait for it to break apart before finding help. And, if it feels fragile now, find help. In addition, I want to encourage you with these truths I needed during our season of a fragile marriage.
Here are some ways to keep going:
1.) Don’t Give Up. Keep moving forward, making the choice to love each other. Even if its just one day at a time, don’t give up. Your marriage and family are worth just one more day.
2.) Find Help. Ask God to bring the right counselor into your life. If you feel like you are headed down the path of separation – and you will know if you are – then seek out help. Don’t wait!
3.) Start Reading God’s Word Daily. The best way to fight the lies seeping into your heart is by reading the truth. I want to encourage you to begin reading God’s Word today. You can’t make your marriage better overnight, but it is a step you can take in the right direction.
Sarah lives her life with an amazing husband and four little ones. Her inner-planner girl would like to say she’s super efficient and has the house, homeschool, and husband all neatly organized. But she doesn’t. Sarah’s house is run with fuel from coffee and Jesus.
She is learning how to find the thrill of walking one day at a time in the messiness of the mundane. She invites you to study God’s Word in your ordinary days.
If you are having a hard time starting a Bible study habit, check out Sarah’s 5 Steps for Starting a Bible Study Habit – Today! Found at sarahefrazer.com/audio-course.