How to rear your little boy to confident manhood, a valuable here resource, including {FREE downloadable} Top Ten Tips for raising a confident young man! There is HOPE, mama.

How to rear your little boy to confident manhood

Ruthie Rearing 15 Comments

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How to rear your little boy to confident manhood, a valuable here resource, including {FREE downloadable} Top Ten Tips for raising a confident young man! There is HOPE, mama.


He was the biggest baby in the hospital neonatal wing.  Our one and only son, 9 pounds, 1.8 ounces.

As parents and grandparents gathered around the window, my husband puffed out his chest and said, “Yeah – that’s MY boy.”

And I thought, “How do I raise a son?”

A mother of a 26-month-old daughter, an only child, perfectionist, at times bordering on OCD, I needed an answer.

But no one sent a manual.

On the day we brought Nolan home from the hospital, my rambunctious two-year-old hugged on him, exclaimed over him, and immediately jumped in his infant seat.

I also wondered how I was going to do two kids.

Ironically, there wasn’t a manual for that either.  (I checked.)

Years passed.  Time flew.  The boy grew.

One day, he announced he wanted to move south and attend college.

I just about flipped.

Not because I wanted him to stay at home.

But because I knew his personality and how much he loved home.

“Don’t you think you’ll get homesick?  Maybe you should consider a college one hour away (and still in-state) rather than two states away?”

“Yes, but I think it will be good for me.”

And the boy was right.


What this new chapter looks like

Early last week, I spent a couple of days with my son.  Just the two of us.

In a large family that remains relatively close (not in proximity, but relationally), that is rare.

But circumstances withheld other family members from attending his college Christmas performance.

During this time, he exhibited just the qualities we’ve striven to instill in him.

My adult son:

1) Drove me to Tennessee

2) Made sure I was fed and secure in my room (“lock this door after I leave”) before leaving for his apartment.

3) Outlined a plan to pick me up for lunch after classes the next day.

4) Made sure I had access to an umbrella (it rained the whole time and he knows how I hate getting my hair wet).

5) Took me to the loveliest place ever for lunch.

6) Budgeted time n between classes to take me on a quick tour of city sites.

7) Made me a priority in his day.

8) Made sure I had a plan for dinner.

9) Worked his practice schedule around picking me up for the concert.

10)Made sure I was safe and sound in my motel afterwards and spent some time with me before my flight out early the next morning.

I know these are little things.  But to this mama, they are HUGE.  I’ll bet if you’re sitting there reading this with your 8-year-old slamming his nerf basketball into his closet wall hoop, you’re hoping the same thing of him someday.

It’s the little things that grow the big men.


Little things we spend time on with our sons add up to the mature choices they will someday make. Click To Tweet


Tweet that.

No seriously.  Tweet it.  I had a stroke of genius – the world needs to know.


What did I do right?

How did I get my son from point A (the mini-Michelin-man with the shy personality who loved to be home) to point B (a confident, independent, city-wise young man)?

I’ve put a lot of thought into that very subject.  What did I do right?  What did I do wrong?  What would I do differently?

Raising a son is a lot like nailing jello to a wall.

You can’t fit him into your mold, mom.


Some moms are just natural boy-moms.  They’ve either grown up around boys, had a brother or two, or are tom-boys themselves.

Some moms (such as myself) are boy-moms by default.  The Y chromosome showed up and here you are.

You had sisters or you were an only child (such as myself).  You’re girly and you know it.

You dream about the day you become mom to a baby girl so you can dress her all in pink, decorate the nursery in feminine colors, and basically stick a bow anywhere you find a sliver of hair.

And then, you have a boy.

Don’t get me wrong.  I wasn’t disappointed with my boy.  I knew he would even me out.

But for crying out loud.

Bathroom words.  Bathroom humor.  Anything bathroom.

T-ball.  Little league.  Basketball.  Football.

Nintendo-64.  Pokemon.  Gameboys.  X-box.  Youtube.

Pestering sisters.  Getting called down in school.  Belching at the table.

All of this (and more) is life with a boy.

And you know what?  I grew to love it.

My son is the second funniest human I know (my husband is first).

He’s also one of the most talented.

I found ways to tap into his talents and enjoy his personality.


Find ways to tap into your son's talents and learn to enjoy his personality. Click To Tweet


What my advice for you is

I worried when he left that he might not follow in the paths I set before him.

Instead of straying from the truth, he took a journey into the truth.

He now owns his salvation, his walk with God, his service for Christ.

This little boy, this shy, Michelin-man boy, is now a man of God.

And it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with God.

God had a plan for my son.

I had to release him in order to let God carry it out.


God had a plan for my son, and I had to release him in order for God to work. Click To Tweet


Along my journey raising Nolan, God led me to ten key ingredients for raising a son.

If you have a son and you want to see him grow into a confident, independent young man who follows the Lord in service, I would encourage you to read and implement this recipe.

The process is explained in my Top Ten Tips to raising a Confident Young Man.

I share this with all the humility in my heart, for this journey is all about God and none about me.

I am human.  My son is human.  You are human.

All God’s chillins’ are human!

We each have a will.

Whether or not we lay it down and bow to God’s bigger picture is up to us.


My son has a responsibility before God to follow His will.  I can pray for him and advise him, but it’s ultimately his call now.  He will falter at times, just as we all do.  He could even stray – it happens.

What I am trying to say is:

there is no A+B=C plan for making your son turn out to be godly, wise, and confident.

But there are general guidelines to keep you on track, and I believe my top ten tips will be a terrific life-line in assisting you in your effort.



TOP TEN TIPS FOR REARING A CONFIDENT YOTop 10 tips to rearing a confident young manUNG MAN

Click on the picture to your left to access this awesome resource!

If you feel you need more specific direction or prayer, I’d love to hear from you.  You can contact me here.

I’ve also written a guest post on Four tips to keeping your son accountable if your son is in the middle school years and beyond.  Full of wisdom for keeping a sharp eye on what your son is up to and how to wisely steer him and remain a part of his life.  We implemented these four tips regularly.



You can raise your son and do it to the glory of God.  Of that, I am sure.

God is ever faithful and He places people in our paths to help guide us in our parenting journey.

I want to do that for you.

Be sure to take advantage of this free offer, and also you can follow me on Pinterest – I have a board there called, “Parenting:  Helpful tips” which is a great resource as well!



One more thing.  If you enjoyed this post and felt it helpful, would you mind sharing?  There are social media icons down below for facebook, twitter, pinterest, and google.  Clicking on them makes it easy-peasy!

Or, share the link via email – even better!

I am here to serve you, mama.  I’ve raised one son and three daughters (can you say, “drama”?)!  Don’t hesitate to contact me or comment.


Linking with:  Link up with us at Tuesday Talk!

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Comments 15

  1. So encouraging Ruth! I needed to read this as I feel like we are in the thick of it all with raising 2 boys and a girl. Lately, I feel so clueless but your wisdom to tap into their personality is priceless- thank you for sharing your wisdom!!

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      Ah yes, Keri, you are in the thick of it for sure! Your instagram pics are so sweet! And YES – tapping into each personality is key! I’m going to write a book along the subject in the near (hopful) future! Let me know if there are any topics you would like to see covered in rearing your children – I’m doing a search! 🙂

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  2. Thanks for the reminder to give up on nailing jello into the wall, Ruthie. I’ve been trying to do that too long. As my 18 year old son makes a few choices I wouldn’t make–nothing drastic–just different, I’m breathing deep and letting go, and praying all the way. What I’m mainly grateful for are the choices he’s making to go to church every Sunday and to join a small group on campus! Priceless.

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      It’s something we all do, Betsy. And one thing I’ve learned as my kids become more on their own is that I can’t control it all anymore. They are their own persons. And no, I don’t necessarily like all their choices either (also nothing life-threatening). But the main thing to me is that they’re all loving Jesus. YES – priceless. Absolutely.

  3. As the adoring (and sometimes bewildered) mama of an 8-year-old boy, I love the hope and encouragement you offer here. Yes, you’re right that I want my son to be just like yours when he grows up, but thank you for the reminder that there’s nothing I can do to force it. Parenting has taught me more about trust in God than perhaps any other experience of my life, and I’m so thankful for a Savior who has led me all the way, and who is utterly trustworthy. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us at Grace & Truth! And P.S. I tweeted even before you told me to. 😉

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      I know how you feel, wanting your son to grow up to choose the right paths. It’s a prayer every mother who is a follower of Christ wants for her child. But forcing definitely does nothing but drive them away (hint: that’s one of my top ten tips for raising a confident young man). And YES – my walk with Christ has taken such a different turn since having children. Especially forgiveness – when I know my heavenly Father has forgiven me so much, it makes me have much more compassion on them. And thanks for tweeting before the tweet prompt LOL! 🙂

  4. This is so encouraging, Ruthie. I pray that I can one day say these same things about my son. When he’s at his best, he has a heart of gold. And you know what I’m finding out? All that goodness I know is in there? He shows it to all his friends! Just not always at home. (He let me read a letter he got from one of them and I had to pick my chin up from the floor!) So I’m hoping and praying!

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      Dianne, I totes get that. People have told me stuff like that about my son and I was like, “Really?! lol. We get the worst version of them, but if you think about it, they get the worst version of us too. We just always want them to be better, better, better! It takes time and prayer and love and correction. I’m praying for you and your son, friend!

  5. I just love reading your posts Ruthie!! Thanks again for helping us in the trenches dear friend! I am one of those mommas who have three boys and I use to dream of having girls…! I think God has a sense of humor because I LOVE being a BOY Mom! I would never had anticipated that, but god knows us best, and I am so glad I get to be their momma!!! So so blessed!

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      Aww you are such a joy to me, girl! Thank you! I’m so glad you found this helpful. I dreamed of girls too – boy did I get that one! But I’m so glad you love being a boy mom, I bet you are good at it too! We are usually good at the things we love! Praying for you today! 🙂

  6. Wow, Ruthie, you give me hope that my boy will grow up one day and be just fine. It’s tough when you’re in the thick of it but I know there’s hope right around the bend. Right? 🙂

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