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Do you wonder what the secret to intentional motherhood is?
In the busy days, in the chaos, in the trenches, all moms seek something at their core: to be an intentional mom. We want our moments to matter and to carve out space for the meaningful things and yet, in the survival mode we often find ourselves in, intentional motherhood seems like a distant dream.
Intentional motherhood has always been a focus of mine. I desire to use the time I have with my kids wisely and seek opportunities to be intentional throughout our everyday life. In years past, I have planned elaborate outings, sat down with crafts, and orchestrated family game nights. While each of these activities have been great in different ways, something was always off.
Whether it is was the rain that ruined our outing or the excessive glue use from my son, or the arguing that kept us from all enjoying family game night, there was always a hiccup. I found myself feeling stressed and distant during the supposed to be intentional moments.
Pinterest: the secret to intentional motherhood
In an effort to find the solution, I searched for more ways to be intentional. Maybe if we tried this or that, we would finally figure it out. I would spend hours searching Pinterest for the ultimate family night activity. It just had to be there, I thought.
As my searching continued to come up with the same results, I started to wonder if maybe I was looking at intentional motherhood in the wrong way.
What if intentional motherhood was not focused on all the things I was doing but instead focused on where I was putting my eyes and my time.
Where was I putting my eyes?
Are my eyes focused on God or are my eyes focused on what every other mom is doing and trying to match up to that? As I thought about this, I realized what I was seeking was to be this supermom that does not exist. Intentional motherhood cannot happen when I am constantly striving to compete with all the other moms.
My eyes were focused on the wrong thing which put my entire mindset in the wrong place.
Where was I putting my time?
Is my time spent getting to know God or is my time spent obsessing over how to create the perfect magical memory moments?
Gulp. Honestly, a lot of the time I was focused on creating the perfect magical memory moments. I found that when I started with being filled by God, I was operating from a full place and not looking for other things to fill what only God can.
Thinking about these questions was eye opening to me because I realized that my eyes were often fixed in the wrong spot and my time fixed on the wrong things. I have slowly been working on changing what I view intentional motherhood to be.
True intentional motherhood
Intentional motherhood is not doing all of the things. Instead it is being intentional with my time and focusing my eyes unto Christ.
What mindset shift to realize that intentional motherhood was not what I thought it was. There is freedom when you realize it is not all about you, isn’t there?
When we are intentional with our focus and time, we start to let go.
We let go of our need for perfection.
Intentional motherhood does not equal perfection. We can learn to see the beauty in the mess because it is in the mess where we are down, on the floor with our kids, playing and laughing.
We let go of the unrealistic expectations of what life should look like.
Motherhood is messy. Meals are going to be chaotic in some seasons. You will wonder if you are getting anything right at all. There will be times when you feel like a complete failure, but trust me you are not failing. Now and then you will see little glimmers of hope that remind you that you are doing something right.
We let go of our need for control.
Often as moms, we start to believe that if we do this, this, and that we will get the anticipated result. But the truth is that there is no perfect formula to motherhood. We cannot control the outcomes, but we can put our trust in God, knowing He has a beautiful plan.
Moms, today, I challenge you to seek intentional motherhood in a new way!
We are not called to constantly be striving but to rest. Put down the desire to be supermom. Leave the dishes in the sink for a moment and go sit on the floor with your kids. Build blocks, dress the dolls, build the train tracks. You will find that in these most simple and ordinary moments, there is far more intentionality than in a well-crafted activity.
Keri lives in Charleston, SC with her husband and three kids. She is passionate about encouraging moms to thrive in whatever season they are in. She shares on her family lifestyle blog regular encouragement and practical tips.