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One evening last week after banging my soul out on my computer for five straight hours (on my upcoming book), I suggested the family take a ride out to the local fishing hole.
The exclaims from my girls and husband made me giggle, and then gave me pause,
Daughter #1: “Hey! Mom said let’s go to the lake, dad!”
Daughter #2: “MOM said that?!”
Hubby: “Mom wants to go to the lake??? Alright, let’s go!”
They nearly tripped over each other dashing the door to the vehicle.
“I can’t believe mom wanted to go!”
By now you’re probably thinking, “Man, she must be a fun-sucker.”
Actually, I’m not. I love to have fun–laughing’s my favorite–my kids know that.
But certain things are not my favorite – like the lake.
I don’t know. I just don’t need it in my life. It’s not one of those things I’m dying to do – drive out a narrow country road and look at a lake. It’s a lake. In the backwoods of West Virginia. And there are mosquitoes. And maybe snakes.
If it were a beach down south, now that would be different. I’m all into baking on some sand.
As the Tiny Tornado would say, “Gimmie some dat”.
A mother asked for advice the other day because she hated playing Legos with her kid:
“Do I have to play Legos with him? I don’t especially like playing with Legos. Plus, he likes to throw them, and they hurt!”
She worried that she wouldn’t be a good mother if she didn’t get in the floor and play Legos with her son.
I gave her this piece of advice,
“You don’t have to play Legos with him every time. He can play Legos by himself most of the time, and you can play other things with him that you like better. It’s good for kids to learn to entertain themselves.”
Did you know that this goes for adult children also (as in ages 20 and 22)? You don’t always have to play with them either.
Before you think I’m completely nuts, let me assure you of something.
Your kids won’t always want you playing with them. Someday, they’ll go through that awkward, pimply stage where they’re embarrassed to be seen getting out of the car with you and will try to walk 10 feet behind you at the mall.
But if you’ve spent time with them; listened to their chatter about bugs and boys, if you’ve made up silly songs while doing dishes, and basically included them in your life, they’ll come back around.
And they’ll want you to go to the backwoods lake with them.
You won’t have to say yes. But sometimes you should.
And sometimes, you should even suggest it (even though it’s not your favorite thing).
Because maybe you’ll miss out on that inside joke they shared with their father. Or you might miss climbing atop a giant rock and watching your daughter take pictures of lily pads.
But the best thing you might miss?
The unexpected rainbow that splayed itself across the misty sky, just past the fir-lined lake.
It’s ok to say no–the very nature of our mothering demands it.
But, if you’re a task-oriented person such as myself (and also in a world that necessitates a myriad of mothering “no’s”), it’s good to say yes sometimes too (and shock the pants right off them).
I did not miss that rainbow.
Moms, just say “yes” sometimes, even when you don’t want to.
Moms, just say yes sometimes, even when you don't want to. Click To Tweet
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